2007 WHAT AN AMAZING YEAR!

2007 was such an amazing year ......Our daughter came home.....what more is there to say......Jia's home.....and life is good.
I look at all 3 of our amazing kids....and wonder what more can I ever want....

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Carmen , Dante, Michael, Steven and Jianna Rose Pagano

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

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WHAT A WONDERFUL YEAR ITS BEEN

As the year comes to an end, I think back at all the wonderful things that have happened to our family. Our Jianna coming home ahs been a dream come true, having her home, where she belongs with us her family is all the gift I need.....I can't believe she has only been home for 8 months, she truly is our daughter, she completes our family, she is all that I have ever wanted in a daugter, and so much more. She lights up a room, she fills our hearts, she makes us laugh, she teaches us so much, we as a family have come to appreciate all the little things in life, because of her. Everything to her is a new experience, and as her family we are honored to be able to share all her many first with her.

Our Boys have always made me proud, they are just amazing human beings. But seeing them with her, loving her the way they do, just makes me so filled with emotions. These young men , are so loving, so accepting, so giving....I am so blessed to be the one they call mom.....I sit here and look at our 3 BEAUTIFUL children, and I can only wonder what did I ever do in my life to deserve such amazing children. I am in aw by them, I know as parents it is our job to teach our children, but the funny thing is, my children teach me so much......I am thankful for this past year, I am appreciative of all that I have.....and no not material things, but my family.....being surrounded , everyday by these 3 children who just love me and their daddy so much , is all the gift I need .....

And my husband, what can I say....after loosing 3 children during pregnancy, and being told that we could never have anymore children....nearly destroyed me....I am so very greatful that Dante opened his heart to the idea of adoption. He not only allowed me to follow my dreams, but as time went on he came to the realization that my dreams of adopting would also become his dream. I see the way he looks at Jianna.....and I am reminded as to why I Love this Man so very much.

Those who know me, know that my life was a very hard one......And if someone was to tell me when I was a young girl that I would have such a wonderful life, with a family and a man who Loves and respects me...I would have looked at them as if they were crazy. But I can only hope that my story will one day show other girls who have been abused, neglected and hurt , that if they truly believe in themselves, and if they never give up on their dreams....life will get better. Don't ever listen to the negative , don't ever believe that you are worthless, don't ever give up on yourself.....and just believe, that if you work hard, don't let the bad prevail, and listen to your inner self and not those who are trying to keep you down,,,,,you too will have the life you truly deserve. I am so proud of myself, and that is not something I say very often.......I turned a negative into a positive......I am and will always be a surviver.........

Thank you to Michael, Steven , Dante and Jianna for teaching me

FCC (Families with Children From China )Xmas Party

Yesterday we went to the yearly FCC Xmas Party....Dante and I are so proud to be part of this amazing group of families who like us have been blessed with our beautiful Angels from China. We find that these gatherings are not only important for Jia , but also just as important to Our Michael and Steven...because its at these get togethers, when they get to see and play with other brothers and sisters who have also opened their hearts and homes to their sisters or brothers who we have been fortunate enough to have been able to have join our families. At one point during the party all the children and parents were sitting on the floor, christmas carols playing, and one by one each childs name was called so that they could go up to see Sant and receive a gift. It was at that moment that I looked at my amazing Husband and he at me and with watery eyes we felt as if we were the most luckiest people alive...we felt such peace, such love and such graditude for having 3 amazing children , for having eachother and for having the FCC.

Slide show below
One proud MAMA

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Jianna's 1st time seeing Snow! Check out the slide shpw below.

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SHE INSPIRES ME

What can I asy , she inspires me.....I look at my daughter and my boys and I just want to be a better person.... I want to make them proud of their mother...I want to teach them to help others....and to always appreciate what they have....I look at Jianna , and I am thankful, for having her in my life.....she teaches me so much....she inspires me....and because of her, I want to do more for other children in need.....so what I was thinking the other day, was......so many of us came back from China with Extra Yuans (chinese money) that we will never use....so what if we put ALL of our Yuans together and helped some BEAUTIFUL Children in desperate need of surgeries in China....There are so many little ones who need heart surgeries, cleft surgeries....etc...so if you are interested in joining me .....please let me know.....

AND For those who have not adopted, but who would like to help....I would love to hear from you......Just think of what we can do....if we " just try"..........

Carmen Pagano

Jianna Talked to Her Mr. Liu

The other night , I was reading Mr. Liu's letter and I kept looking at his phone #.....and before I knew it I was on the phone dialing his number....Did not know what I was going to say ( because I don't know much Mandarin) but At the time I did not care...I just wanted him to hear Jia's voice....Jianna was in the bath and she talks ALOT when she is in the tub....Okay ,, now the phone began to ring and then I heard his sweet voice....he said hello in Chinese and I froze for one second and then I just said NE-HAO LIU......JIA JIA MAMA.....JIA JIA MAMA.......Then I put Jia on the phone and she too said Ne-hao BABA(father) JIA JIA....and thats it....he started laughing , and crying and saying JIA JIA....JIA ...JIA......AHHHH JIA JIA and then he cried some more.....jia was talking up a storm....and than I realize something, even though I was worried that I could not tell him very much, it did not matter....you see all he wanted to hear was the voice of his sweet Jianna....and lets face it half the time I don't understand what she's saying....but it does not matter....because in the end just hearing her voice and hearing her laughter is more than enough...to not only me , but to Mr. lui as well......just think , a few words went a loooonnnnnng way...

The following day, my Guide Glen who helped us while in china, said that Mr. Liu called him and told him of how happy our phone call to him made him....he told Glen that he cried tears of Joy when he heard my voice and Jia's voice......He said jia sounds happy....and that now he's happy.....

WE LOVE YOU MR. LIU
Carmen (MAMA) and your Jia Jia

YESTERDAY I RECEIVED MR. LIU'S LETTER!!!!

For those who are not familiar with Sweet Mr. Liu, Mr Liu is a very old man who lived in the same building as the Orphanage..You see upstairs from the Orphange, there is a place where homeless old folks lived....and Mr. Liu for 21 months of my Jia's life would go downstairs , to play with her all of the time.....I believe, that its because of the LOVE THAT MR. LIU Gave Jia, that she is as affectionate as she is. Any way the day Jia was taken out of the Orphange , Mr. Liu cried for 4 days....reason being, he was told by the locals, that westerners adopt their babies so that we can sell their body parts ( HOW HORRIBLE) but believe it or not this is what many countries believe.....anyway once I heard of this and I was told that he had been crying , I asked my Guide ( GLEN) if he could take me and Jianna to see Mr. Liu before we left for the states......Long story short...I did meet him, so happy I did, I promised him that I would never harm our little jia, and all he wanted was pictures and letters sent to him once n a while....I promised him that I would,,,,,and I have..... Mr. Lliu has since rec'd my letters and photos....and guess what! yesterday My guide had e-mailed me a letter that Mr. Liu had sent him to translate for me......THE FOLLOWING IS THE LETTER:

Dear Dante and Carmen,

Hello! I was very delighted to receive your letter, I had to look for someone to help me write back to you since I did not receive much education. Please forgive me!

Dante and Carmen , I was really sad when my JIA JIA left me. She would go to America such a far away place. I could not hold her up and visit her anymore. I often cried for this. I am old now. I can't work and have a hard life. I could not provide a warm home for her. I was so gratified and satified that Jia Jia could have You, such kind people who would make her have a happy life, growing up happily and provide a nice environment for her and take care of her and love her. I knew it from your letter that you Loved Jia Jia so much, you let her learn Chinese and she could play with other Chinese adoptive girls, you show her my photos and let her Love Me. I was very appreciated for it. I also hope that you will mail some more photos of Jia Jias Life in America to me. Meanwhile, Thank you for your Love to Jia Jia and for you to write a letter to me. Please tell Jia Jia : grandpa love her and miss her forever...Thank you for your Kindness! Best wishes to all your family members!

Best Regards

Granpa of Zheng Jia ( JIA JIA): Liu, Huan

August 26, 2007

Attach : Grandpas Cell phone Number ############### ( I have the number : )
And he also Gave me his Address


ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE, I HAVE TO ADMIT ...I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF..... I kept my word....and to the Chinese, your word means EVERYTHING....I may have change one mans view of us as parent who adopt .....For so long he believed that we harm their children....Now I know I will never change the way the " WORLD" thinks of us......but I can sure try......one Mr. Liu at a time......and now perhaps My Mr. Liu will tell others in his village...and so on and so on....... and for that I can smile at myself when I little ole me ....carmen looks in the mirror today......My Grandma would be proud.......her name was Rose.....

Carmen Pagano
Proud Mother of Jianna "ROSE" Pagano

OUR 5 MONTH GOTCHA ANNIVERSARY!

Today is our 5 month Gothca anniversary!!!!! What can I say ......Having Jia in our lives....has been SO WONDERFUL..I still have to pinch myself.......how did I ever get so lucky....Having Mike, Steve and Jia in our lives just makes everyday a wonderful one...

Carmen and Dante
Proud Parents to some amazing Kids.....

JIS HAS BANGS!

OKAY SO TODAY I GOT THE COURAGE TO CUT JIANNA'S BANGS MYSELF....I THINK THEY CAME OUT OKAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?????

CARMEN

LAST DAY BEING 40 : O

Okay so, today is my last day being 40 : O Come tomorrow I will be "41" OUCH! It hurts to even type it : )
anyway...I remember when I was a teenager ( many moons ago) when I heard that someone was 30 I thought " boy their old" But not anymore oh no ...30 is the new 20, and 40 is also the new 20 : ) " sorry my rules" : ) so with that said, I just want to begin my fourty something years with my head held up high, after all, these days thats the only thing that I can still keep held up...gravity stinks : ) ...so fourty something here I come, and fifty stay far, far , far AWAY!!!!!!


HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND EVERYONE!!!!!!
Carmen Pagano AND HER OLD MAN dANTE AND KIDS....

summer coming to an end : (

Well as our summer comes closer to its end, I think back at all the wonderful things we got to do as a complete family....Having Jia with us just made our family even more wonderful than what it already was....She has shown us to see things differently...we now appreciate things more, and realize that family is the most important thing in the world....We are greatful for our 3 beautiful children...and we are proud that we have been together for 25 years...you see our biggest accomplishments, should not be measured by our jobs, how much money we have in the bank, how many shoes are in our closets, but by our family...and our commitments to eachother...I am proud that I have been able to grow from a teenager to a now 41 year old women with Dante, I am proud of the family we have built together...It has not always been easy....Sometime it was down right difficult...we have shared the most joyous experiences together to the most difficult of times together. But we have remained constant in one thing, we have always remained by eachothers side. This blog has been a gift to me...because of this blog , I took the time and sat down every week and shared with you my little life...and as I did that I realize how lucky I am to be able to write such wonderful things that are going on in my life...I never use to take the time to reflect on what was going on around me and now I do...And you know what , pretty happy about many things that I have been able to experience and write about...What can I say " NOT TO BAD CARMEN, NOT TO BAD"

CARMEN PAGANO

What A wonderful WEEKEND!

What can I say our family had such a wonderful time this weekend at the Reunion! I am so lucky, not only to have traveled with these amazing people but to now be able to call them friends...what we share together is something that unless you have adopted it would be hard to understand....all 28 families traveled to China, missing something in our lives....Traveling with them and witnessing the Beauty of adoption with such wonderful people was and will always be something that I will forever carry in my heart. Seeing these babies enter their forever families 4 months ago, and now being able to see how the children have grown, and adapted so well...what can I say it was such a beautiful site to see...Seeing my Jianna with her Guangxi sisters just about brought tears of joy to my eyes.. I know that China travel Group # 137 will always be part of our lives, and I am very greatful to have them ...I was so happy that Dante and my boys could meet my travel mates...after all we a re now one BIG happy family...It is so very important to me that jIA STAY in touch with her Buddies.....And It is just as important to me that Dante the boys and I remain in touch with this amazing group of people...that I now can call my extended family....

Carmen Pagano

WOOOHOOOOO OUR TRAVEL GROUP IS GETTING TOGETHER THIS FRIDAY AND SATURDAY FOR OUR REUNION!!!

I am so excited this Friday and Saturday Our travel group is getting together for our reunion!!!!!! I know its only been 3 months since we have brought our Beautiful babies home, but I miss them....I can't wait to see how all the babies have grown and changed! My travel group, our such amazing people, they have become like our 2nd family......I am also Happy that Dante and the boys will get to meet them, seeing that they did not travel with me to China, they were not as fortunate as I was to have spent 2 weeks with such a great group of people...Friday some of us are going to Six Flags, and on Saturday we are having our Reunion at a park ....I can't wait for Jianna to see her Chinese sisters and lets not forget Reece the one boy of the group....He is such a cutie!

Carmen and Family

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBY!!!!

I can't believe it today IS my Dante's 42nd birthday....Happy birthday Sweet man of mine....Its been wonderful spending the past 25 years with you ...I have seen you grow from a teenage boy to such an amazing man...I am so proud to not only be your wife, but to have the gift of growing old with you ...What a wonderful journey its been...thank you for allowing me to share it with you...
Your Wife
carmen Pagano

MR. LIU GOT MY LETTER AND PICTURES OF JIANNA!!!!

I RECEIVED A E-MAIL TODAY FROM MY FRIEND Glen , he was our guide while we were in Nanning....and now he has become not only a very good friend, but family....As many of you know, while Jia was in the orphange, a sweet old man named mr. Liu would visit her everyday and played with her....as far as family was concerned, Mr. Liu was all Jia had and Jia was all the family Mr. Liu had.....you see although he has 2 adult daughters, they are both married and now are caring for their husbands parents.. Mr. Liu lived in the same buiding that Jia lived in....one of the floors in the building housed elderly homeless folks...... Anyway 4 days after I rec'd Jia, our guide, Glen informed me that the director of the orphanage called him, Mr. Lliu was very upset and cried for 4 days ...well I just could not leave China without seeing him...so off we went...When we arrived at the Orphanage, there he stood, this beautiful old man ...as soon as our van stopped he came to the car and took Jia in his arms...The Love that was in both their eyes was both wonderful and sad...wonderful because I was happy to know that Jia was sooooo loved, Sad because I knew that I was taking my daughter from the only family she had ever known....well to make a long story short, Mr. Liu cried because he was told that we adopt Chinese babies so that we can sell their body parts ( how awful, no wonder why that poor old man cried for days) I promised him that I would never harm her..and that what he heard was not true....I promised to Love her and make her happy...All Mr. Liu wanted was pictures of her....and I am happy to report, This week Glen e-mailed me saying that Mr. Liu got my Letter and the 20 Pictures of Jia and our family.....I felt so happy ,,,,I just wanted to cry.....I have come a long way.....I have grown up so much ....and I am so fortunate to have these beautiful kids....I am proud that I kept my word...I am proud that I did not let my sweet Mr. Liu Down....How can you ever thank someone enough for Loving your child , when you were not able to .....how can you ever thank someone enough for giving your baby all that you could not...Thank you Mr. Liu.....with all of my heart and soul, thank you for raising OUR child for her first 20 months of her life....I will NEVER let her forget you and I will always respect and Love you for being Jias source of LOVE.

I'm A Lucky Lady!!!!!!

Today I looked at my kids and thought to myself, what did I ever do in my life to get 3 of the most amzing children....oh yeah and a pretty good husband too : ) Today the boys were playing with Jianna and it was just so nice to hear them laughing and running around, it makes me very happy to see that Jianna has bonded with her brothers and they with her....It just confirms it, Jia was so meant for this family..I can't believe it, 3 months ago she was not here with us...She just feels like she has always been with us....I could not imagine life without her...The way she has taken to her new home, surroundings , family....I just find myself looking up to her....she has gone through so many changes in the past 3 months, and she is just such a trooper, she just goes with the flow, and she tries everything...and is such a happy ,sweet little girl....She adores her brothers, and LOVES her Daddy and when she looks at me , I just have to pinch myself, I still can't believe shes ours...I'm just soooo in Love with my family....and no I'm not PMS-ing those days are over for me, I'm just taking this time to smell the roses, and boy am I lucky.....

P.S. now Tomorrow, I might be singing a different tune : )

Carmen

OUR JIANNA'S BIRTHDAY

My Sweet Jianna

What can I say, you are all that was missing from my life, you have completed our family and you were sooooo worth the wait! I woke up today so happy , my baby is 2 years old...but I must admit, I also felt a little sad...because I know that out there there is a women who on this day, gave her little girl away....I wonder if she is thinking of you , if she misses you, if she wonders about you....I wonder if she is okay....if she is sad..if she tries to imaganie what you look like ....I wish I could give her a hug, and tell her that your okay, and that I thank her for giving you the gift of life, I wish that I could tell her that I will always be there for you and that I will never speak badly of her, I wish that I could show her how much you have grown, and how beautiful you are, I wish she could see you dance, sing and smile .... I want her to know that I will always tell you that there are "2" women who love you sooo much, one gave you the gift of life and the other was lucky enough to see you live it....I thank her so very much for Loving you so much so that she gave you a chance , even if it meant that she would have to live her life "wondering" , not knowing....wishing....

It angers me when those who think they know everything, judge the Chinese people for giving up their children...imagine how it would feel if you were told that you could only have one child, imagine how you would feel if you were fined for having a 2nd child, imagine how it would feel to have a baby grow inside of you , feel her kick , give birth to her and then let her go, just because you were not ALLOWED to keep her....Imagine how awful that must feel....then judge.....

I am so greatful for my Daughter, And I will never take her for granted, and I will always have respect for the women who carried her, gave birth to her and gave her a chance ....and on this day , our daughters birthday, there will alaways be "2" women who Love this amazing , beautiful girl named Jianna....

So many People Love you my Jianna
Happy Birthday

Mikes B'day Surprise!

Yesterday was Mikes Birthday so Dante took him to work with him at the Colbert Report....Mike has been wanting to meet Jon Stewart, so Dante Surprise Mike and Steven and took them to meet Jon Stewart...Jon was so nice to the boys , he even took a photo with them....Thanks Jon....The boys Love that their father works on Television, because they get to meet some pretty amazing people.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET MICHAEL!

Today I woke Up and realized, oh no! my baby is 15 years old today....when did that happen??? My Sweet Michael, what can I say , I am so proud of you , I am so lucky to have 2 of the sweetest boys for sons....Michael you are growing up to be such an amazing young man....You remind me so much of myself, your funny, kind, good hearted person, and such a cutie! You have overcome so much....Something we both have in common, is that we a re both dyslexic...and I am so proud of you for doing not only so well in school , but also making it onto the Honor Roll....You never stop trying , you always do your best and you never let your dyslexia bring you down....I have seen you sit at the table for hours and hours studying for test....when you don't understand something, y our never embarrassed to ask for help , I on the otherhand, was always so ashamed and never asked for help. but you are so proud and you don't care what others think and because of that , you have done so well not only in school but in life in general...I am your biggest fan, and I have and will continue to learn so much from you my son...its because of the way you are, that I now allow MYSELF to put MY head up high...I now no longer keep my dyslexia a secret, heck if Mike can do it , well so can his Mom : ) I can only hope, that I am able to teach you as much as you have taught me, you make me a better person, you make me proud, you make me happy and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the Love you show me everyday of your life, thank you son....And Mike, I know that one day your gonna make one heck of a film maker....just remember, when your up there getting your 1st award....and you hear some crazy lady crying in the audience, that will just be me ....crying tears of joy....

Love you
Mom and Dad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SWEET STEVEN!!!!

Today Is our stevens Birthday! I can't believe it, my baby boy is 10 years old....Steven will forever hold a very speacial place in my heart....before I had steven, I had 2 misscarriages, I thought for sure that I would never give birth to another child again....than just when u thought there was no more hope, BAM! here came steven....Now anyone who knows Our Steven knows that he is a strong minded, determined, does not give up type of boy! He's my "ROCK" and we always say " steven was a fighter in my tummy, and he was determined to see the world" So Happy Birthday My Sweet little Boy! I am so Happy that your in Our Lives....You have taught me to never give up....for if I had, I would not have you....I Love You

Your Proud Mommy

Jianna's Trip To Maine!

This week we were invited to our wonderul friend Nadines Parents Lake House for a few days....What Can I say Nadines Family are such beautiful people, they treated us as if we were family, they were so nice to Mike, Steven and Jia....Mike and Steven went tubing for the first time...Nadines Brother Chris also took my boys out on the boat , poor steven wanted so badly to catch a fish,....but, No fish : ( Nadines Dad took us out on his boat and Jianna had so much fun...thanks Grandpa White.....We even had a cozy fire outside one night....Nadines Mom, on the first day took mike and steven out to kyack....and Dan even went out and joined in the fun....And we can't forget sweet Moose...Jia Liked Moose alot! (Moose is nadine and Matts Dog) It was so Beautiful to be on the Lake...and with such wonderful people....so Thank you again Grandpa and Grandma White...Nadine and Matt and the rest of the gang!!!! we had the greatest time!!!!! we are gonna miss ya!!!!!

The Pagano's

MY BEST FRIEND GERRY IS COMING !! WHOOOOHOOOO

Jia Went to Visit the Colbert Report

Yesterday Jianna went to visit all her buddies at the Colbert Report....Thank You everyone for being so nice to our Jia! She Loved running around, and she even got to sit in Mr. Stephen Colbert's desk!!!! What can I say our Baby is a natural : ) She even got to see Mr. Colbert in person! What a Nice guy! so thank you all at the Colbert Report for All your wonderful gifts and for dealing with my Daddy....Who knows, maybe Jianna will one day have her own show....ya never know : )

The Pagano Family

MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER

My beautiful daughter
what a gift you are
when you smile my world is brighter
when you cry I feel so sad
when you sleep , I just want to look at you

My beautiful daughter
how lucky I am
I look at you and wonder what did I ever do in my life to deserve you
I look at you and I am greatful for everyday we have together
I look at you and feel so bad for the wonderful women who gave you life
I feel bad that she will never get to know you like I will
I feel bad that she will ever see how beautiful you are
I feel bad because she will never get to see you grow up like I will
I feel bad because she will never see you look up at her with your sweet smile and call her mommy
I feel bad because I will never be able to tell her thank you
thank you for loving you enough to give you a chance
a chance that perhaps she will never have for herself.

I promise her that I will love you for the both of us
I promise her that I will speak respectfully of her
I promise her that You will grow up to be a proud Chinese WOMEN
I promise her that in every monumental time in your life , I will take a moment and think of her and say thank you

Your first day of school
the day you graduate from college
the day you get engaged
on your wedding day
when you are blessed with your first child
I will look to the sky and say thank you to the women of China that loved our daughter's
so much, that they gave not only our daughters a chance, but who gave us a chance to be their mothers....

Jianna is a very lucky girl...for she will always have 2 women who love her very much
one who gave her life
and one who was there to see her live it......
Thank you

MY BEST FRIEND GERRY IS COMING SOON TO SEE HER JIANNA,,,WHOOOHOOOO

DADDY HAD A GREAT FATHERS DAY!!!!!

A fathers day Poem to my Amazing Husband and wonderful father , on Fathers Day

Fathers Day

What do you give a man who has given you 3 amazing gifts of life
What to you tell a man who has always helped you make your dreams come true
what do you say to a man who has shown you that love is as simple as a babies smile
a mans touch
and 3 simple words I love you.

I have such a man
His smile warms my heart
his generousity fills my soul
his touch makes me blush
his parenting makes me proud...

The answer, I just don't know what you give such a man on Fathers day...
but I will start with my heart
My soul
My Life
and the amazing gift of growing old together
and watching our 3 miracles grow
and hope that one day they too will find the Love that I have found in my man.

I Love you Dante
my husband
and father of our 3 beautiful children

I am so Greatful!

Today I woke up , got steven ready for school...later woke up Michael so that he could go to school...woke up Dante so he could spend some time with is little girl before he left to work...Got our daughter from her crib...and I sat there smiling, wondering what did I vever do in my life to deserve such an amazing family. I am a fortunate women......

carmen pagano
Proud mama and wife

2 Month anniversary with Jianna

I can't believe it, we have had our Jianna in our lives for 2 whole months! Funny thing is, she just feels as if she has always been here. I so admire her, here she is , this little girl, she left her country , has a new home and family, different language than what she is use to and she just goes with the flow...I 'm just her biggest fan...She is learning so much so fast......she copies everything we do, tries to repeat everything we say...she is always happy, and hardly ever throws a fit....There is so much that I can learn from my little Angel....You know what, when I grow up , I want to be just like her : )


Jia's proud mama